Read Jimmy Kimmel’s best jokes and one-liners at the Oscars


Jimmy Kimmel hosted the 90th Annual Academy Awards in Los Angeles, California.

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We can always count on Jimmy Kimmel to be the host we need right now.

Sunday night he hit the perfect tone to open the 90th Academy Awards.

From joking about last year’s best picture fiasco to saying the Oscar statue is “literally a statue of limitations” because he keeps his hands to himself and is not anatomically correct, he got off some zingers.

Here are five of Kimmel’s best lines from his opening monologue.

A man of the moment

“We can’t let bad behavior slide anymore. The world is watching us, we need to set an example. If we can do that, women will only have to deal with harassment all the time at every other place they go.”

Let’s not have THAT again this year

“This year when you hear your name called, don’t get up right away. Give us a minute, we don’t want another thing. What happened last year was unfortunate.”

“The Shape of Water”

“We will remember this year as the year men screwed up so badly, women started dating fish.”

Get a clue Hollywood

“Here’s how clueless Hollywood is about women. We made a movie called ‘What Women Want’ and it starred Mel Gibson. That’s all you need to know.”

Not all about the money

“In fact, of the nine best picture nominees only two made more than $100 million. But that’s not the point. We don’t make films like ‘Call Me By Your Name’ for money. We make them to upset Mike Pence.”


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