2014 Begins As Morally Sick As 2013 Ended

This is an archived article and the information in the article may be outdated. Please look at the time stamp on the story to see when it was last updated.

Here are some thoughts on the first week of 2014. Christmas isn’t yet over for the real spirit of the season. In what I can only describe as lamentably selfish, a certain phone provider is running advertisements featuring a young man who begins the spot sad because “…he didn’t get what he wanted” but ends this all-too-real-life scenario in bliss. What drove this change of heart in 30 seconds? Why, he was exhorted to go and buy his own gifts, after all, “who knows what to shop for for you, better than you?”I expect that as our youth become intoxicated with this advertisement’s finer points Christmas will expand into a year long award presentation from me, to me.

In a show of continued misanthropic behavior, some Philadelphia Eagles players refuse to manup to the butt whooping administered them by our New Orleans Saints. Eagles tackle, the offensive Jason Peters said that the Saints “got lucky.”2 While corner – no one – back Cary Williams was even more blunt. “We lost to a team that wasn’t… better than us. Period.” Both men break the Earl of Chesterfield’s rules for being gentlemen of sport. “The notice which you have been pleased to take of my labours, [would have] been kind; but it[‘s] been delayed till I am indifferent, and cannot enjoy it; till I am known, and do not want it.”3 In other words we don’t need you Eagles to acknowledge our win because, it’s still a win!

Finally, just how gullible do Louisiana tree hugger groups think conservative voters are to fall for the ol’ “…we have grave concerns about Senator Landrieu’s record on the environment”4 trick? Not to be outdone, brother Hizzoner Landrieu is running ads showing “constituents” assuring us that the only man “to lead our recovery is Mitch Landrieu”5 as if those first 8 years of not doing so have been
forgotten, like Edwin Edwards’ reality TV show.

1. The campaign’s homepage bears the caption “Treat yourself to the deals you deserve”, the TV spot is not yet posted to YouTube
2. http://www.nola.com/saints/index.ssf/2014/01/eagles_offensive_tackle_jason.html#incart_most-comments
3. See Samuel Johnson to The Earl of Stanhope (Chesterfield) 7 February, 1755 “Is not a Patron, my Lord, one who looks with unconcern on a man
struggling for life in the water, and, when he has reached ground, encumbers him with help? The notice which you have been pleased to take of my
labours, had it been early, had been kind; but it has been delayed till I am indifferent, and cannot enjoy it; till I am solitary, and cannot impart it; till I am
known, and do not want it. I hope it is no very cynical asperity, not to confess obligations where no benefit has been received, or to be unwilling that the
Publick should consider me as owing that to a Patron, which Providence has enabled me to do for myself.” Available online here: http:/
4. http://www.nola.com/politics/index.ssf/2014/01/enviormentalists_arent_thrille.html#incart_river_default
5. http://www.mitchlandrieu.com/video