How To Make Christmas Feel Like Christmas

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“Why doesn’t Christmas feel like Christmas this year?” This phrase has been repeated within earshot of me more times than the Saints defense has been burned for 1st downs on 3rd and one mile. As we explore the reasons for this melancholy melody of Christmas consternation perhaps we should pour ourselves an egg nogg and see if we can recall some lyrics to Christmas songs to get us in the spirit. “Walking ‘Round in Womens Underwear” just came to mind but that’s not very devotional. Let’s see, how about “Grandma Got Run Over By Obama” written and sung by yours truly. The tune is catchy but doesn’t quite conjure up an image of children with halos lying in a hay dispenser.

I know what’s missing, the spice for the egg nogg! The old “sipping spirits to channel the spirit” trick should do the trick but is this really the “spirit” that Christmas is supposed to be about? For many people I am sure that the answer to that question is a big, pardon my language, “hell ye-ah!”. This should make us question the wisdom of awarding the entire population a few days off every December for the new “Lindsay Lohan Experience” ride at Jazzland when it reopens. Even though I am enjoying the spirits [tips his glass], looking forward to the time off of work and can still hear “You’re a Mean One, Mr Grinch” playing in my head it still doesn’t feel like Christmas but I think I have it figured out now.

When Dr Seuss wrote that “Christmas doesn’t come from a store, Christmas means a whole lot  more” he was trying to straddle the line between a meaningless Christmas which agnosticism delivers and the beautiful climax to Schulz’s “It’s A Charlie Brown Christmas”. “For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.” There, NOW it feels like Christmas, y’all.