Thanksgiving tweets that perfectly sum up the painful side of Turkey Day
NEW ORLEANS — Hey, it ain’t easy cooking a massive meal, putting up with relatives, staying on your diet or wrangling the kids.
If you’re feeling a bit stressed this Thanksgiving, don’t worry, you’re not alone.
We’ve got some holiday-related comic relief, just when you need it most.
MOTHER-IN-LAW: There are Thanksgiving leftovers in the freezer
ME: Thanks but I…quit cold turkey
MIL: I never wanted you in this family
— Todd 'Papi' Carlos (@TheToddWilliams) October 6, 2017
One of my biggest fears is that I'll marry into a family that runs 5ks on holidays
— Natalia Skrodzki (@xNatata) December 24, 2016
The second hardest thing about spending Thanksgiving at my MIL's house is resisting the urge to tweet hilarious childhood photos of my wife.
— Audrey Coulthurst (@audwrites) November 26, 2016
In-laws are both gone. It's FINALLY my turn to make Thanksgiving dinner the way I want to!
*Researches which Chinese restaurants deliver*
— Bianca LaVagina (@AnitaHelmet) November 24, 2014
Having two thanksgiving dinners in one day is a byproduct of marriage that I am not mentally or physically prepared for
— Clayton J. De Fur (@claytondefur) November 24, 2016
[Thanksgiving at the In-laws]
Me (patting wife’s belly): “Remember you’re eating for two now”
Mother-in-law (smiling): “You mean…”
Me: “That’s right. She’s got a tapeworm”
— 🇺🇸Frank Whitehouse 🇺🇸 (@WheelTod) November 13, 2017
Recipe for best post Thanksgiving breakfast: make a bowl of organic oatmeal. Next, throw oatmeal in garbage and eat two slices of pie
— Ike Barinholtz (@ikebarinholtz) November 27, 2015
My husband and I make a good team. I'm about to start cooking Thanksgiving dinner, and he's taking the batteries out of the smoke detectors.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ(s)🎭 (@3sunzzz) November 23, 2016
Do your parents like Jell-O shots?
-Me trying to make a shopping list for Thanksgiving.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 16, 2016
Driving hrs to see inlaws,spending an entire day making a feast my kids will gag over,then cleaning?
Of course I'm excited ab Thanksgiving!
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) November 16, 2016
*builds time machine*
*travels back to first Thanksgiving*
*slaps cranberries out of pilgrim's hand*
You're not making this a thing— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) November 27, 2014
Me: Everyone at work is sick.
Wife: Don't YOU get sick. We're going to my mom's for Thanksgiving.
Me [to coworker]: Spit on me right now.— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) November 23, 2016
If I never wake up from this food coma, please tell my family I died doing what I love. #Thanksgiving
— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) November 29, 2013
My mother asked what I was going to make this year for Thanksgiving and I said, "a scene."
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) November 20, 2015
For those of you who are alone on thanksgiving for $50 I'll call you and ask you why you're not married yet and when you're getting a raise
— Rarely falls in a hole (@mattytalks) November 27, 2014
