NEW ORLEANS (WGNO) – If you’re tired of your family asking when you’re going to get a boyfriend, this “professional Holiday Bae” can be yours for $20 and a plate of food.
Tulane Classifieds is a public group for Facebook users in New Orleans to buy and sell items. Christopher R. Cruz is selling something a little more interesting than a handbag or tickets to the Sia concert. Cruz markets himself as a”professional Holiday Bae for a day,” to fool your family all for a low price and a plate of food.
Cruz offers three packages, the starter package consisting of “a clean-shaven appearance” and “laughing at your parents jokes,” which starts at $20 and a plate of food. If you’re looking for something a little more romantic, the second package includes everything in the starter pack, plus “flowers for your mother, whatever political views you want,” and “stories about how we met and you stole my <3.” This package will set you back $20, a plate of food and a to-go plate.
And finally, if you’re mad at your parents, Cruz says the third package is for you. Forget the clean-shaven appearance, package three includes “urban attire,” referring to everyone as “fam,” and “trying to sell your grandmother my fiya mixtape.” This one is the most costly, at $40, plus food and dessert to take home.
This Thanksgiving, don’t wait until granny asks, “So when are you getting a boyfriend?” Take action now and hire the holiday bae for a day. Who’s interested?