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Who-Dat Tree Huggers Lose Their Fracking Minds

Louisiana residents must have giant stickers on the backs of our shirts that say “kick me.” How else can you explain our obsession with urban legend and charlatans? Many of you will remember the sob story that was told on behalf of the murderer in the “Dead Man Walking” movie. The Bourque family that lived this nightmare with the loss of their daughter, Loretta. responded to Sister Helen Prejean’s heresy with the real account of the Sonnier brother’s heinous crime in the book “Dead Family Walking.” In much the same way, semi-famous people are now promoting fictional accounts of what is known as “fracking” to stop the practice from beginning in oil rich St Tammany Parish only this time the charlatans are promising that the villains will bring death to Louisiana.

At a Parish Council meeting, tree-hugging charlatans Lt Russell Honore and “environmentalist” Wilma Subra was the star-speaker against a proposed fracking-well northeast of Mandeville. Subra’s hyperbolic “testimony” included threats of “cancer…ground and air pollution, battered roads…irritation to the skin, eyes, nose and throat, rashes, dizziness, personality changes, depression and irregular heartbeat.” Phew, I’m glad to hear fracking doesn’t bring on PMS and ADHD. Subra received a standing ovation from the activists in attendance. But are her outrageous claims true? Is fracking really this evil?
According to a recent L.A. Times story the hysteria doesn’t match the evidence. “Studies have shown repeatedly that fracking is fundamentally safe. It creates jobs and cuts dependence on foreign oil.” Maybe if the crowd knew some more about Saint Wilma’s “science” methods the applause would have been rotten tomatoes. After releasing a recent doomsday report for Flower Mound Texas, Subra was cited by the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality for methods “[are] not scientifically appropriate.” Saint Wilma was not deterred and released a nearly identical report for the Eagle Ford Shale site, Texas CEQ responded more forcefully in this rebuttal saying “…shale play activity does not significantly impact air quality or pose a threat to human health.” There certainly are good reasons to be concerned about fracking in Louisiana but the ridiculous claims of Dead Brains Talking isn’t one of them.