The Saints NFL Draft: Stolen by Goodella The Hun
As NFL Draft Day, 2013 approaches, Saints fans and the weary city that supports this most beleaguered of pro sports franchises should be experiencing a Steinbeck-ian “Winter of Discontent.” “To be alive at all is to have scars(1)” wrote Steinbeck and looking at the “mock drafts” one can eyeball at NFL.com (1a) the scar of not having a second round pick is fresh and still painful. This is the last little bit of “punishment” meted about by NFL commissioner Roger “Goodella The Hun.”
Since the Huns’ edict was announced(2) from the NFL’s version of Saruman’s tower, the fabricated story of how the Saints single-handedly conspired to maim NFL players has unraveled like Louisiana Lottery promises to fund public education(3). Linebacker Johnathan Vilma heroically(4) proved the fallacy of the Hun’s case by threatening to air the matter in a public court. To save Goodella from disgrace, the NFL dragged former commissioner Paul Tagliabue out of retirement to play arbitrator(5) but there never was any arbitration for the millions of scorned Who Dats who now know their coach was stolen from them and their team crippled by a lack of draft picks(6).
You would think that Goodella would find the decency to admit his “punishment” was excessive and give the team back their second round pick. But to think that you mustn’t understand the real motivation of singling the Saints out for “bounties”: to save the NFL millions if not billions in unstoppable brain injury lawsuits headed its way. Two weeks ago, Goodella and his legions of Lawyer Huns begged Federal Judge Anita Brody to dismiss the suit (7), saying the players knew the risks of head to head collisions while wearing helmets the size of beach balls; Goodella’s ace in the hole is the Saints, as in “see, we acted swiftly & decisively to protect players brains.”
Who Dats should not buy this sack of bull pellagra & commit to memory another Steinbeck line “I shall revenge myself in the cruelest way you can imagine. I shall forget it.”
3. http://www.cpjustice.org/stories/storyReader$912 The authors wrote at the time of the LA Lottery’s approval “In the book that John L. Amalfitano and I published earlier this year, America’s Gamble: Public School Finance and State Lotteries we report results of a statistical study that provides a nationwide analysis of the claim that lotteries enhance public education spending. We compare all fifty states and ask, “Is school finance enhanced in lottery vs. non-lottery jurisdictions?” For decades, lottery advocates have claimed that school financing is enhanced by means of lotteries. It seemed reasonable to assume that lottery states would, by now, be doing a better job than non-lottery states in financing their schools.
What we found, however, was that lotteries did not enhance the funding of public education. Lottery states actually used a smaller percentage of their wealth for education than did non-lottery states. Measured by per capita income, it is clear that wealthier states spend more on education than do less wealthy states. But the presence of a lottery does not account for significant variation among states in education funding. Wealthy states appear to adopt lotteries in advance of other states, but it is not the lotteries that make states wealthy.”
“Paul Clement, former U.S. solicitor general during the George W. Bush administration, represented the NFL. David Frederick, who has argued a number of Supreme Court cases, spoke for the retired player plaintiffs.”